This Floating Poo Was Way Too Meaningful! These Are the TV Disappointments of the Year.

Looking back, we reflect on the TV offerings of the past year, a handful of series emerge not for their brilliance, but for their notable shortcomings. From cringe-inducing spin-offs to confusingly poor documentaries, here are the programmes that had us scratching our heads or simply reaching for the remote.

The 'Sex and the City' Sequel

How to start with this love/hate spin-off? Plagued with dreadful writing, cringe-inducing character development (we demand better for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the series fought to justify its existence. Briefly, as the final series started, it seemed as if it had finally found its groove. Then arrived an episode all about Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the showrunner announced this would be the last series. It concluded on a low point; the lingering shot of Miranda’s toilet flooded with poo was simply too symbolic. Still, fans undeniably had a hoot picking apart every single “wtf?” moment. And as Carrie – once again single – danced around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't release a little sob?

All’s Fair

‘Can Kim Kardashian act? Of course she can’t.’

But that was almost the least of this drama's issues. The recipient of a exceedingly uncommon no-star assessment, it was hard to know where to begin enumerating the flaws. The hilariously wooden dialogue? The mind-numbing glorification of affluence and materialism? The seemingly deliberate procession of cliches? Acting so poor they felt almost spiteful? Let’s just say “all of the above” and never speak of this show again. However, a new season has been commissioned, so we’re probably going to have to.

AKA Charlie Sheen

Considering the legal troubles, domestic violence allegations and parental shortcomings, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not that you’d truly have gleaned it from this three-part docuseries which chuckled along at Sheen’s various bouts of self-destructive excess while failing to tell us anything we didn’t already know. Instead, it felt as if this loose cannon was being pandered to, so any pity this show might induce should be saved for the people who have had to endure close contact with this charming but flippant narcissist.

The Supercomputer Drama

Naturally we knew it was preposterous from the get-go: a drama about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or destroy all of humanity. We stuck with it out of pure admiration for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One barely reacted when his character died, and the other ended up slicing Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. That's what you call admitting defeat.

The Gangster Drama

Dodgy characters meeting in empty boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its crime drama back.

Actually, that is harsh on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many look a bit old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t suffer the embarrassment of having to indulge baffling dialects. But there were plenty of other problems. Primarily that it was just really boring; a conflict over drug-selling territory between various cockney rogues which seemed a bit basic.

With Love, Meghan

Given the extent to which she grinds the gears of certain ostentatiously enraged commentators, it’s temptingly tempting to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s televised ventures into twee lifestyle as intentional statements. But then you view them and are compelled to admit that actually, they may have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle catalogue come to life; a poster for wine o’clock with ideas of grandeur; a procession of sleeping dogs, humming beehives, sentimental sayings and forgettable crafting “hacks” you’ll not remember instantly. All underpinned by vast, largely undeserved wealth. Ugh.

The Beckham Documentary

There are obviously fascinating things to be discussed about both Victoria Beckham and her journey with vocation, identity, self-acceptance. But for whatever reason, this three-part series chose not to explore them. Instead, the experience was like reading a sales brochure. She clearly has every right to bridle at what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But sadly, she failed to do herself any helps with this guarded letdown of a series.

The Inheritance

It should have been the next big hit – except even camper, with a glamorous star playing dead and a well-known personality managing her inheritance. What more could you ask for? As contestants competed, there was plenty of betrayal and squabbling. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s even now too confusing to detail what precisely was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw glimpses of the star via prerecorded videos. The series ended up reeking of a production that was straining desperately to emulate something far greater than it.

The Lena Dunham Romcom

How does one succeed a show that defined a generation? The expectation was immense for this starry romcom about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who lands in London with a broken heart. The star seized the opportunity by the horns and was a delight to watch, reveling in Jane Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very slick and, ironically, was not enough. Plus, the abundance of celebrity cameos involved felt uncomfortable.

Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping

Not good enough to be ‘patchy’.

Given the shrewd recruitment of talented emerging comics, expectations were high. But sadly, most of it didn’t land. A recurring sketch was a one-note joke milked to a dry pulp but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a well-known irate mode. The writing room sketches, in contrast, simply provoked the thought that they should probably have stayed in there a bit longer.

The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox

This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely presented the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an compelling drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this was not it. The subject matter needed to be handled with care. Instead, the series struggled painfully to find the right voice, lurching from strangely jaunty, slightly stylised farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Complex? Arguably. A total mess? Absolutely.

The Maths Genius Thriller

We love the lead actor … but did we buy him playing the greatest maths genius since, a man so smart he’s on the brink of a breakthrough that could destabilise society? Nope! This international thriller about government agencies targeting – and killing off – intellectuals frankly got more farcical by the second. Silliness-by-numbers.

1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story

This uncritical portrait followed the online personality notorious for sexual exploits as she prepared for her biggest feat yet. What on earth would possess her? What we wanted was far greater examination of her actual psyche, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have spoken to the legendary mum who appeared to drag her son out of the queue. What we got was horrific imagery and absolutely no critical analysis of her notoriety whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the documentary-maker has a young daughter too.